My application as Glenn Beck’s writer
So, I heard through my pals Andy Cobb and Blue Gal that Glenn Beck is hiring a writer! Not only that, he’s looking for that writer on Craig’s List!
The ad reads:
Mercury Radio Arts is the New York based production company owned by Radio and TV host Glenn Beck.
Mercury seeks a writer for contributions to Glenn’s radio program, magazine, and web site. The ideal candidate will have a strong interest in news, current events, and politics.
Key responsibilities will include contributing original content to GlennBeck.com and to Glenn’s radio program and magazine. Writing will include a mix of short pieces and long articles, fact-based commentary on the news of the day, etc.
Requirements:
• Strong written and verbal communication skills
• Research skills
• At least 2 years of journalism experienceInterested candidates, please send resume, cover letter, and at least 3 writing samples. Cover letters must include salary requirements to be eligible for consideration.
Location: New York, NY
So I decided to apply. And I decided to share the actual email I sent to Glenn’s company. Hope you enjoy it.
“To whom it may concern:
Take down the Craig’s List ad because you have found your next writer. I feel I have a fine understanding of Glenn Beck’s mind, as I too hear voices whispering to me throughout the day.
I also have my own bunker and an adequate supply of canned goods should Glenn and I have to spend time hiding from the communist socialists. However, I know in my heart that our hiding wouldn’t last long because WE SURROUND THEM! Huh? Remember when he said that? I do.
I also enjoy lighting things on fire, but don’t tell anybody. That’ll just be Glenn’s and my little secret. I tried to make waffles yesterday, but I burnt my hand. I was so angry!!!!!!!! Anywho, as required, I have provided links to three writing samples.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-filipowicz/glenn-beck-gets-ready-to_b_186446.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-filipowicz/chuck-norris-runs-first-a_b_173904.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-filipowicz/glenn-beck-is-now-a-made_b_135781.html
I look forward to hearing from you, and finding out the exact date I can move into Glenn’s house.
Sincerely,
Matthew Filipowicz
P.S.- Do I need to bring my own pencils?”
So, do you think I got the job?
-Matt
